Holding onto Jack
by justawriter2006
Summary: What if Jack didn't die? This is the story of his and Rose's journey after Titanic. I know this has been done before but the movie was just so beautiful and heartbreaking that I had to get back on fanfiction to share my version of it. I had such a good time writing it that I just wanted to share it. I really hope you like it. (I changed my name from moonwolf86 to justawriter2006)
1. Chapter 1

**Here's my first chapter, I don't know how often I will be able to update so bear with me. It follows the ending of the movie, so the beginning is basically just that, I promise Jack ****will come back in the next chapter (update very soon because I already wrote that one)**

I am numb, frozen, completely withdrawn into my self, although the chill of the water has since left my body. All I can here is the echoe of Jack's plea and my trembling response, playing on a round in my head,

" I love you, Jack. " i whispered my voice shaking

Jack gave me a determined look, as he commanded in the strongest voice he could, "Don't you do that, don't say your good-byes. Not yet, do you understand me?" His voice quivering as his teeth clattered.

I am so tired and the icy air seems to penetrate my bones, as I choke back, "I'm so cold. "

Jacks icy fingers grip mine as he stares into my eyes, his blue eyes reflecting the stars as he continues bravely, "Listen, Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and you're gonna make lots of babies, and you're gonna watch them grow. You're gonna die an old... an old lady warm in her bed, not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?"

I hear his words as if he is very far away, I am so cold, the frigid air seems to blow through my body like a leaf in the breeze, it seems so easy to just give into its icy embrace, I strain to reply, "I can't feel my body. "

He pulls me back with his determined voice, even though it is barely a whisper it is enough to tether me to the surface, "Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... it brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise."

I stare into his eyes, as I force my cracked lips to whisper, "I promise."

" Never let go." He almost pleads, although his voice is determined, his eyes are desperate.

I nod and lay my face on his hands, unable to fight my heavy lids any longer as they slowly shut.

I awoke to the sounds of one shrill song in the dead silence of the sea. My eyes snap open as I recognize the whistles shriek and I turn excitedly to Jack, I shake his hands gently as my eyes search for a boat, I whisper excitedly my voice cracking, "Jack, Jack get up! Its a boat!"

When he doesn't answer, I shake him more forcibly, pleading, "Jack, wake up! We're saved."

My voice trails off as I am almost suffocated by despair, my voice welling up with tears, "Jack?" I squeak.

His wet hair is matted and weighed down with ice, his skin a ghastly white and his cracked lips a deep blue. I choke out a sob as I realize his cloudy breath is no longer billowing softly in the stinging air.

My heart sinks, weighed down with raw and burning grief, I want so badly to lie here, waiting for the kiss of death to reunite me with my Jack. A frigid tear rolls down my numb cheek as Jack's voice rings happily in my ear, "You jump I jump, remember?"

I want so badly to jump after him, to follow him where he is, to escape this painful void.

Then I think bitterly of my promise to Jack, his last request. How disappointed in me he would be if I did not do everything in my power to continue fighting without him. How could I ever face him if I did not do everything I could to make sure his sacrifice was not in vain.

I squeeze his frozen fingers one last time as I lay my lips gently on them and whisper in the strongest voice I can, " I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."

Reluctantly I pry my fingers from his and watch with a heavy soul as he slides away from me, my heart sinking with him.

I tear my eyes away from him as he disappears into the murky water, calling desperately for the life boat in the distance. I start to panic as I realize my weak voice is not reaching their ears. With the last of my strength, I heave myself off the door and let the freezing water envelope me. I am almost paralyzed by the biting water but I paddle with all my strength to a dead officer with a whistle dangling in his mouth. I yank it free and blow into it with my weak lungs. I watch despairingly as the boat drifts farther and farther away from me, leaving me to die. Just as I am ready to give into the waters icy call I see them turn around. I hear the men shouting away from a distance, numbly remember them heaving me into the life boat and wrapping me in a heavy blanket as I drifted in and out of consciousness.

Back in the present a tear wells in my eye, as I see the statue of Liberty gleaming in the afternoon sunlight. My heart aches as I think of how Jack would have loved to see it, towering overhead welcoming him home to the country he longed to return to. Although it is warm as the afternoon sunlight beats down on my back, I keep the heavy blanket wrapped tightly around me, unable to shake the memory of the chill from my bones.

I step off the ship, letting my feet touch the ground for the first time in what seems like an eternity, I breath in the crisp spring air. Guilt and grief plaguing me with each delicious breath, I feel so selfish experiencing the simple beauty of life without Jack, he belongs here not me. He was full of so much goodness and sunshine, overpowering my murkiness and despair.

I am startled out of my brooding thoughts with a persistent tapping on my shoulder. I turn to see an officer who asks softly, "name miss?" holding up a clipboard

Astonished I hesitate, thinking, who am I? Certainly not Rose Dewitt Beaucater, no she is gone, no longer a part of me stripped away like a curtain to reveal a gentle ray of sunshine. Then who am I now?

The answer seems clear, one of the clearest thoughts I have ever had, of course, what better way is there to keep Jack alive, nothing else seems more fitting than what I reply to the man, "Dawson, Rose Dawson."

The name fits like a glove, as if the two names belonged side by side, again my heart yearns for Jack as I realize that he was my savior, he saved me in every way a person can be saved, and I owe my life to the man who is now gone, nothing left of him but the name I have strapped to the end of mine.

Suddenly I am aware of an object weighing down my left pocket. To my surprise I pull out the heart of the ocean, shimmering in the light as it catches a ray of sunshine, making it dance in shimmering aqua beams of light. A smile spreads across my cheeks, thinking how this could be my chance to start a new life. But that smile fades as quickly as it had appeared, I can't live off of Cal, no thats not how I want to live my life, forever tethered to Cal's wealth. I shove the diamond back in my pocket and briskly stride away from the docks, not knowing or caring where my feet take me, determined to seise life in Jack's memory.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2 I know it's shorter than 1 but it's got a lot of heart.**

Stars glint overhead in the biting air, and a boat drifts slowly through the eerie still water, grim silence overtaking its passengers as they despairingly sift through the ocean of frozen bodies. After watching the lone brave lifeboat disappear into the dark of the night searching in vain for survivors of the tragic sinking of the Titanic, the officers aboard calling desperately out into the silence of the dead night, another boat followed. The women in the boat dipped their hands into the stinging waters, searching for any signs of life from the cold bodies bobbing in the water. Their eyes filled with tears as they drank in the overwhelmingly tragic scene before them. Mothers clung to their children holding them as high as they could, getting them away from the deadly chill of the ocean only to be thrust into the bone chattering air. People teetered on scraps from the wreckage from the once beautiful ship, their fingers frozen to everything from barrels to doors to luggage. A tear ran freely from the eye of Molly Brown, as she brooded over the memories burned into her mind from that night, she would never forget the screams of people pleading for safe passage on an elusive lifeboat, the wails of the children separated forever from their families, the tearful goodbyes of couples, or the bloodcurdling shrieks of people being crushed by the dying ship or being dragged down by the murky depths. One thing that would surely forever be branded on her mind where the calls for help from the people bobbing in the water, hearing their pleas from only a few yards away, unable to reach them as their shouts became whispers until there was nothing but silence in the black night.

A timid hand tapped her shoulder as Mrs. Dewitt Beaucater whispered softly, "Do you think that they found Rose?" Her eyes gaunt as one shaking finger pointed to the glimmer of the lantern of the lifeboat ahead. Molly's lips tightened as she gripped her hand softly, knowing the chances where about one in a million. Before she could find the words to console her a thud bounces in the silence as an object hits the side of the boat, Molly clamors to the side and sees a dark shape just under the water. Without a second thought she plunges her arms over the side of the boat, reaching for the object. Startled, she realizes it is a person and she pulls with all her strength to bring the body to the surface, other women grip her sides, securing her to the boat as she heaves the cold body into the boat. Astonished she realizes that the person she had dragged in was the boy Jack Dawson, the sweet hearted boy from steerage. Her heart breaks as she thinks of how beautiful his budding romance with Rose had been, new and promising, like the first tulip of spring. But it is as if that fragile flower, reaching for sunlight had been suffocated by the icy fingers of frost as he lies cold and motionless on the floor drenched to the bone, ice clinging to his gaunt body. Desperately she runs her fingers over his neck, straining for a gentle pulse of life, despairing moving to his wrist and finally in a last ditch effort she lays her ear gently on his chest, closing her eyes as she concentrates her very being into finding the thrum of his heartbeat. After several seconds she is ready to give in, but suddenly the gently tapping of a weak heart reaches her ear and she screams, "A heartbeat! He has a heartbeat!"

Hands grip her shoulders and necks strain to watch as Molly pumps her knuckles over his chest, trying to get his blood flowing in every way possible. The women all rub their hands over his cold body warming up his system as heavy blankets are draped over him. A spluttering gasp escapes Jack's lips and Molly gives a triumphant cheer as the women continue to warm the boy as he moans weakly. Finally laden in layers of heavy quilts, Jack's eyes struggle open and he whispers weakly, "Rose?"

Molly beams, tears of joy running down her cheeks, "You're back, we almost thought we lost you sugar"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3, enjoy!**

At the docks, I shakily exit the boat, my legs are still wobbly and my head is foggy. The doctor that checked me out said I was incredibly lucky, and it would take a long time to recover fully from the ordeal my body went through. A ray of sunlight beams on me as the fading sun turns the Statue of Liberty a blazing gold, only a few weeks ago the very idea that I would be standing here, in New York breathing the fresh American air would have made my heart leap, but now it is heavy as lead, weighed down by pure burning grief. The second I was strong enough to stand I started desperately asking officers if any reports of a Rose Dewitt Beaucater had come in, but they had only shrugged and patted my shoulder sympathetically.

Tears that refuse to shed burn from behind my eyes as I think back to the night of the sinking, bobbing in the water clutching Rose's cold hands sure that she would be the one to survive, she had to, I had grimly thought that there was no chance for me after I had tried to climb onto that door with her, but our combined weight made it sink a few inches into the water, which was no good, that would only serve to kill us both from hypothermia as we watched slowly happen to everyone around us. Yet here I am, safe in the warm air, without Rose.

I have been coming back to the docks everyday since I arrived, asking everywhere for reports on Rose with no luck, within a few days, Molly and Rose's mother bid me a tearful farewell laden with wishes of good luck. Molly had given me a tight hug and told me to never give up hope, while Rose's mother had simply gripped my shoulder, her eyes grieve ridden as she left for Connecticut, her hopes of ever finding Rose gone.

I look despairingly out into the ocean, my heart falling as I think of Rose lost out there; gone forever. How could this happen? How will I ever find the strength to go on without her? A tear escapes my eye and rolls slowly down my cheek, I feel broken, like someone ripped a part of my very being and tossed it into the ocean, leaving me in pieces. I feel like screaming into the salty air, throwing my voice out into the sea hoping that a small part of me will reach Rose's ear.

Suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder and I brush away the tear with my jacket sleeve, an officer with a clipboard starts babbling at me, "SIr, efforts are being made to reunite the survivors of the sinking with their loved ones- surely you've heard of the tragedy of the Titanic by now."

I feel like punching him, heard of it, hell I lived it.

He continues unaware of my grieving anger, "Anyways, sir, could I please get a name to see if we can do anything to locate whomever it is you are searching for?" He gestures to the ocean, which he had obviously seen me staring at less than a moment ago.

I hesitate, deciding what the heck there's no one to connect me too, and if it will get him to shut up, then fine, "Jack Dawson" I croak.

He starts flipping through his clipboard, his eyes widen as his finger lands on a name and he squeaks, "are you by any chance related to a Miss Rose Dawson?"

My heart skips a beat, I grip his shoulders and whisper, "what?"

He shrinks away as he stammers back, "Rose Daw-Dawson"

"Where can I find her?" I demand.


	4. Chapter 4

I stumble back into my tiny apartment in the late evening, breathing heavily after a long exhilarating day at the fair. I did so many things I had never been able to do before, I rode the ferris wheel, ate cotton candy and drank beer, I ran through the ocean in my clothes and watched fireworks make the indigo sky bright with dazzling color. These last few weeks have been the most adventurous of my new life. I have been all over the city exploring things I had never dreamed I'd see, exciting myself with new spontaneous experiences, not stopping for an instant, because I know if I stopped even for a heartbeat, the energy would fade fast as I succumb to the bitter grief that has been hanging over me at every second, threatening to wash over me, choking me with memories of Jack, happy laughing, only to shift to images of him cold and still, sinking into the water, making me crumble under the weight. Everywhere I look I see him, whether its a glimpse of blonde hair at the fair, a flash of mischivious bright blue eyes or a whisper of his laughter. I fall onto my tiny tattered couch, holding back a choking sob as my heart yearns for him to be here with me, experiencing these new sights and sounds by my side.

Suddenly my eyes widen as a sharp tapping on my door makes me leap off the couch, nervously gripping a fire iron as I go to timidly wretch the door open. Suddenly I am dreaming, on the other side of the door is Jack, his arms outstretched as he chokes out, "Rose!"

I run into his arms drinking in his warmth, trying to take everything I can from this wonderful fantasy before its over. Tears run down my cheeks as I gasp, "Jack!" hugging my body closer to his as I allow my lips to brush up against his. I pull away, surprised, a thought nagging me that maybe, maybe this is not a dream. But that's utterly impossible and I whisper, "How are you here?"

He takes my face in his warm hands, tears running down his face, a wide grin shining on his lips as he mutters, his lips pressing against mine, "A life boat found me, I've been searching for you everyday since I got here, how are you here?"

I laugh with joy and I lie my cheek on his hand, whispering back, "A boat found me too! But how, I saw you sink into the water you, you," I choke on the words, "you where dead'

He takes me in his arms as he chokes, "I guess I was lucky."

We didn't speak from then on although there where so many words flying through our heads, but they where silenced by the heat of passion and we spent the rest of the night in each others arms, simply holding onto each other, not believing our own senses as if we expected to be awakened from this beautiful dream at any moment.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day we awake on my couch, unwilling to untangle ourselves from one another so we simply drink each other in and let the dappled rays of sunshine warm our skin. Jack is the first to pull away, sitting up straight and cups his hands over mine and blurts out, "let's get married.'

Baffled I exclaim, "What!?"

He scotches his body closer to mine and I let his delicious scent wash over me as he whispers into my ear, "why not? Rose, we've been through so much together don't you think that this chance that we've been given only proves that time is a gift? That our love is strong enough to cross the ocean and there is nothing left for it to prove? Rose, I love you more than my own life and I'm so sorry that we almost lost one another before I could get the chance to say it. So I'm asking you now Rose, will you do me the great honor of making me your husband for the rest of your life, will you let me love you to the best of my ability? Because if you do, I swear I will do everything in my power to make sure you are loved and happy for the rest of your life."

A slow smile spreads across my cheeks as my head clears, a moment before I had scoffed silently at Jack's ludicrous declaration, it was preposterous really, completely out of the blue and totally insane. But, that would be the kind of thing the old Rose would think, and she would make her thoughts perfectly clear in her own stuffy pretentious manner. But as Jack's heartfelt words sink into my mind the idea makes perfect sense, it is as if a fog has cleared in my mind and I am seeing clearly for the first time.

I twine my fingers through his and lay my lips gently on his thumb, I whisper, "Yes Jack, Yes yes nothing would make my life more complete than having you as my husband.

He laughs happily and his eyes twinkle, to my utter surprise he pulls a small blue box from his jacket pocket. I gasp when he opens it to reveal a beautiful diamond ring that glitters in the weak morning light.

His eyes shimmering he explains, "I accidentally pulled this off the finger of a woman who was falling off the boat," he looks up into my wet green eyes, "you know when we where hanging from the top? well I couldn't hold her and she slipped. Know I remembered seeing her and her husband all over the deck always hand in hand, they must have been married for about 40 years. I saw them again hanging on a barrel in the water and I meant to give this back to her but It was so cold and I was afraid I would loose you if I looked away for a second, my point is though, they where still holding hands and I bet thats the way they died, hand in hand." He takes my finger and gently slides the glimmering gem onto my finger, "I kept this thinking that if I never found you I'd throw it into the ocean, meaning for it to somehow reach you, but when I heard that there was the slightest possibility that I would find you, I bought this cheap box in a pawn shop." he smiles, "now that I have you in my arms, I want this ring to symbolize the life we'll have together, and I hope that one day long from now, thats how we'll go, safe and warm in our bed, old and content, a beautiful life behind us, and hand in hand."

Tears spring to my eyes as the power and strength behind his words crash over me and I string my arms around his shoulders nodding my head as he strokes my hair, tears running down my face and onto his shoulder, my eyes glued to the ring, now less than merely a ring but a promise bound around my finger.


End file.
